I think you've been hanging on these last couple years more because you knew so many people loved you than because you really wanted to. That'd be like you. I don't know how many times my parents called me and said, "Jim's not doing so well, they don't think he's going to make it through the night." And every time, you surprised them, you pulled through with a polite, "no not right now, thanks." Even this time, you held out a good week longer than anyone thought you would. Still I wish I could have seen you once more.
You've been more like a grandfather to me than a great-uncle. I remember when you came to my class for grandparents day in fifth grade. I surprised mom by asking if she thought you would, and she surprised me by saying she though you'd be thrilled that I asked. I don't know if you were, but I think she was right, and it made me feel bigger, better somehow to realize you'd be happy to be considered my grandparent. You told me and my friends stories about your time in World War II that I don't remember anymore. Grandma and Bud were there too, but you were the only one who ever talked about it.
Before Grandma moved to Oregon, whenever she came to town during Thanksgiving, we'd all go over to your place to be with you and Flo and Mona. That felt more like real family time than any other holiday I'd experienced, and the next year, when Grandma stayed in Philadelphia, I told mom I wanted to go to your house again. She explained that it was rude to invite ourselves, but I told her I didn't care, and I bugged her until she did.
As you approached 90, as I realized you were the last person living in my grandparents generation. I wanted to ask you about our family, wanted to hear all your stories, or at least some of them, and this time write them down. I wanted to give you another hug. I wanted to tell you that I can't help but love my fiance's father because he reminds me so much of you. More than the things I wish I'd said though, I regret that I'll never get to talk to you again. To hear your sharp quiet sense of humor.
Jim, I've never been able to guess what comes next, but wherever you are, I hope you're not in pain, I hope you can rest or not as you please. I hope there's still a you somewhere, because you were such a wonderful "you." I love you Jim, and I'll miss you.
A Certain Lack of Focus
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
I wanted to share this photo just because I think it looks sort of poetic. Not that I know anything about poetry. This is from Crocker Park, a development that had the potential to be cool but is just kinda lame and trendy instead. You can click on this one for a larger view.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
In the last few days, many of the media mouths, even on my favorite news source, have been criticizing Hillary Clinton. It's not even really criticism so much as it is a fatherly shaking of the head, a "we expect better" sort of voice. And really that's so much worse. If they ever wanted to prove that there was a bias of sexism, they've succeeded.
I've been a stanch Obama supporter since the primaries kicked off, but I've always liked Clinton, both varieties. I don't think either of them (the Clintons that is) have exactly shown their best faces in this election, but I also don't think that Hillary's not-exactly concession speech is as big a deal as the media is making of it. To me, this is another reminder that behind Hillary's carefully polished face is a human being.
Because Hillary isn't being petty, at least that's not how I read it. Hillary is CRUSHED. How long has this been in her sights? Since Bill was elected? Earlier? I think everyone knew it was on the horizon when she ran for Senator, if not before. People joked about her being the real president when Bill was in office, so I'm sure it was on her mind. And at the beginning this election, Hillary was far from the only person who thought the nomination was hers for the plucking. Defeat hurts. I have to question how much any person who has not learned that, has actually tried.
So give her the measly four days she's taken to cling to "not making any decisions." The decision has been made for her, probably was weeks ago. Let her nurse her ego, and step down with dignity. Once she's had her time, Hillary will do her duty with all the enthusiasm of a cheerleader on Ecstasy.
To Hillary Clinton, (because obviously she reads my blog) I'd like to say thank you. We've been pretending that this isn't about race or sex except in a mildly amusing anecdotal way, but this election was always in some part about each of those things. I know it hurts to lose, but you've done more than any woman in history to make IT possible. In spite of whatever sexism you may have faced, you did NOT lose because you are a woman, you lost because you underestimated your opponent. And on the day you chose not to concede the race, today when everyone is wondering what you're thinking, this Saturday, when you throw your support behind Obama as you have to do: there is not a single person who can now believe that a woman cannot be president.
Hillary, it won't be you, but it will be because of you. It won't be me, because I don't want it, but I know I'll see it in my lifetime. You may see it in your lifetime. Maybe I'll vote for Chelsey Clinton. Because of you. I don't know what you'll do next. If Obama can defeat McCain, I believe this country CAN change, finally, in much needed ways. You will be a part of that. Maybe you can even step less carefully now that your presidential aspirations are spent. I don't know.
All I know is that while right now you are feeling the crushing pain of defeat, while right now I am cheering in my heart for Barack Obama, you have done something wonderful. I won't stop hoping for Obama, but I do hope that someday soon, you realize how very much you have done.
*images link to source
Sunday, June 01, 2008
My drawing today is the first peek at my new webcomic Not Quite Magic. I'm hoping to get this going in a few weeks, once I've (I hope) built up a few comics so I can be sure to always post on time. I'll be posting every Monday and Wednesday and every other Friday. This un-inked drawing will be one of the Friday drawings, which aren't necessarily related to the main story line (you'll see once I get started). It won't be the first strip in the series, but it fit this week's Illustration Friday topic: "baby" so I thought I'd go ahead and get started.
As usual, click for a slightly larger view. Any comments would be helpful.